Miss me? Okay, you can put your hands down and stop kissing my ass, I know you weren't that badly. Also, hi mom! Anyway, the last few months have brought the film industry to a grinding halt, but thankfully, I have been able to do a little bit of viewing in the midst of the world … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Festivals for the Intervals
The world is beset by a pandemic, and all of us are wondering how that's all going to turn out. Will we ever get back to normal? Can we go outside again? When can we pay money to physically go and see terrible movies again? Well, if you live in a state run by an … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2020
Let's not mince words. This pandemic sucks donkey balls. Over the last few weeks I've dealt with major family issues and medical emergencies, lost two jobs (temporarily), and returned to bachelorhood. What I wouldn't give to be able to go see a movie right now. However, I am not an idiot or an asshole, and … Continue reading Yes, Virginia, There Will Be An Oscars – 93rd Academy Awards Rules Announced!
Well. This is awkward. As the nation remains in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic, the film industry has all but shut down. Major releases have been moved back or cancelled entirely. Theatre chains have shuttered their doors. At this point, on-demand and streaming are basically the only resources for new cinematic entertainment out there. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – April 2020
If it hasn't become painfully obvious over the course of the many reviews I've written on this blog, I am unapologetically liberal. I have respect for conservatives (though it's waned considerably over the last three years), and even agree in principle with some of their ideas, but for the most part, my basic political philosophy … Continue reading The Illusion of Choice – Never Rarely Sometimes Always
In the midst of all the rigmarole surrounding COVID-19 (I feel like I should be pronouncing it "co-VIDE" since it's short for "COrona VIrus Disease, but that would open up a whole other can of "gif/jif" worms), there's still one piece of cinematic business to deal with for 2019, even though it's literally the first … Continue reading The Cat-aclysm – 40th Razzie Awards Announced!
Hey, you know what you've never seen before? An unqualified guy opining about the coronavirus! Totally original! I've tried to just take the whole thing in stride, but as the entire goddamn universe collapses around us, I feel compelled to at least say something, especially in regards to how it affects this blog and my coverage … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Going Viral
Since the premiere of Toy Story some 25 years ago, Pixar films have fallen into three distinct groups. At the top are the movies that simply blow us away, introducing wondrous new ideas and themes to complement the ever-evolving animation technology. These are the all-time greats like WALL-E, Up, The Incredibles, and Inside Out. On the opposite end of the … Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother – Onward
Jane Austen's novel, "Emma," has been adapted four times for the big screen. In 1996, a straight-up version gave Gwyneth Paltrow one of her first leading roles, and won the Oscar for Original Score. In 2010, India gave us Aisha, which was a modest success overseas. Of course, the first, and most famous version of the … Continue reading Newness Beats Clueless – Emma.
Top o'the mornin' ta ye! It's yer friendly neighborhood Irish back row film fanatic idiot. And yes, I'm totally actually Irish, and I have the tattoos to prove it. No, I don't have the DNA tests to prove it, because I absolutely dread the idea of potentially having to alter/remove my tattoos if I'm wrong. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – March 2020
I Actually Paid To See This 