One of the biggest ways that the modern comic book movie has changed the course of film storytelling is also one of the more subtle. While the post-credit tag scene wasn't invented by the genre (hell, the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie had one), the Marvel Cinematic Universe truly brought it into the mainstream, using … Continue reading A Krypto Scam – Supergirl
By now you all know my feelings about the Toy Story franchise. The original trilogy (the fact that I can use that phrase in multiple contexts is emblematic of the problems with modern Hollywood) are all-time classics, with Toy Story 3 ending things on the most perfect note imaginable. And then we did Toy Story … Continue reading Jessie’s Girls – Toy Story 5
Steven Spielberg is inarguably one of the greatest filmmakers in history. He's given us some of the most inspiring, dazzling, and poignant movies ever made, from E.T. to Schindler's List. He is the very definition of an auteur, and even in his weakest entries, he's earned a degree of deference and a lifetime of mulligans. … Continue reading Spielberg Tells Us Nothing – Disclosure Day
You may be wondering why I haven't posted anything on here in about six weeks. Did I fall off the face of the Earth, or more likely, into a deep depression? Did I run out of money entirely, making it impossible to live day-to-day, to say nothing of going to the movies? Did I finally … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Animation Animal-ation
There are times when I genuinely worry about the quality of a movie. Most of the time, when I see a trailer or read a synopsis of a film's premise, I get a pretty good idea of whether or not it'll be any good. I've been wrong in my assumptions before, obviously, but for the … Continue reading EWE-dunit – The Sheep Detectives
There's a common phrase in the entertainment industry that you may or may not have heard before. I've used it a couple of times in this space, though I've never really done a deep dive on the concept or anything. It's called "Development Hell." It's when a project is passed through so many creative hands … Continue reading Slop – Animal Farm
Thirty years ago, the movie Michael was released. It was a shmaltzy bit of 90s tripe where John Travolta played a chainsmoking archangel who somehow taught a struggling country singer and a tabloid journalist how to love. Also, there was some bullshit with Bob Hoskins and a dog. It was pure, distilled 90s that was … Continue reading Sham On! – Michael
After the massive commercial success of The Super Mario Bros. Movie three years ago, a sequel was a guarantee, and with Nintendo's massive marketing machine behind the follow-up, it was impossible that The Super Mario Galaxy Movie wouldn't also be a smash hit. However, just like its predecessor, the critical response is miles away from … Continue reading Plug and Play – The Super Mario Galaxy Movie
There are a lot of reasons why The Martian was one of my favorite films of 2015, and why it ranks in my top five for the entire decade of the 2010s. It's smart, funny, visually spellbinding, and in one of the greatest miracles in cinema history, it made math actually seem cool. When Matt … Continue reading Yo Adrian! – Project Hail Mary
At the beginning of this year's Oscar Blitz, I hinted that it might be the last time I'm able to do this annual excursion into cinematic excellence. Obviously, that still remains to be seen. Things haven't improved for me, but like Marty Mauser himself, I continue to believe that I will come out the other … Continue reading Oscar Blitz 2026 – Postmortem
I Actually Paid To See This 