Homer's Odyssey is one of the most dense stories ever conceived, but also one of the most fascinating I've ever read. A giant tome broken up into lengthy tangents and songs, the epic poem meanders for hundreds of pages, but you never lose track of what really matters for the overarching narrative: the grand scale … Continue reading The Sound of Fury – The Odyssey
You all know my history with the Despicable Me franchise. I loved the first film. I thought the second was alright, but nothing special. I hated the third. I was grateful that the fourth was adequate and competent, mostly because the Minions spinoff movies were just the worst. I admit I occasionally chuckled at the … Continue reading Banana-bylon – Minions & Monsters
So... I did another thing. Exactly five years ago, I launched a YouTube channel as a companion piece to this blog. The first video was a ranking of all the Pixar films that had been released at that point. It was just me sitting in front of my webcam and riffing for about 90 minutes. … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Discussing Disney
One of the biggest ways that the modern comic book movie has changed the course of film storytelling is also one of the more subtle. While the post-credit tag scene wasn't invented by the genre (hell, the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie had one), the Marvel Cinematic Universe truly brought it into the mainstream, using … Continue reading A Krypto Scam – Supergirl
By now you all know my feelings about the Toy Story franchise. The original trilogy (the fact that I can use that phrase in multiple contexts is emblematic of the problems with modern Hollywood) are all-time classics, with Toy Story 3 ending things on the most perfect note imaginable. And then we did Toy Story … Continue reading Jessie’s Girls – Toy Story 5
Steven Spielberg is inarguably one of the greatest filmmakers in history. He's given us some of the most inspiring, dazzling, and poignant movies ever made, from E.T. to Schindler's List. He is the very definition of an auteur, and even in his weakest entries, he's earned a degree of deference and a lifetime of mulligans. … Continue reading Spielberg Tells Us Nothing – Disclosure Day
You may be wondering why I haven't posted anything on here in about six weeks. Did I fall off the face of the Earth, or more likely, into a deep depression? Did I run out of money entirely, making it impossible to live day-to-day, to say nothing of going to the movies? Did I finally … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Animation Animal-ation
There are times when I genuinely worry about the quality of a movie. Most of the time, when I see a trailer or read a synopsis of a film's premise, I get a pretty good idea of whether or not it'll be any good. I've been wrong in my assumptions before, obviously, but for the … Continue reading EWE-dunit – The Sheep Detectives
There's a common phrase in the entertainment industry that you may or may not have heard before. I've used it a couple of times in this space, though I've never really done a deep dive on the concept or anything. It's called "Development Hell." It's when a project is passed through so many creative hands … Continue reading Slop – Animal Farm
Thirty years ago, the movie Michael was released. It was a shmaltzy bit of 90s tripe where John Travolta played a chainsmoking archangel who somehow taught a struggling country singer and a tabloid journalist how to love. Also, there was some bullshit with Bob Hoskins and a dog. It was pure, distilled 90s that was … Continue reading Sham On! – Michael
I Actually Paid To See This 