The new year is a time for reflection, for hope, for fresh starts and new outlooks on things. It's a moment of renewal, where people all over the world can look up with fresh eyes and resolve to do better. It's an annual second chance to get things right, and make good on the promise … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – January 2023
At long last, a very tumultuous year is about to come to an end. Inflation was rampant, an absolute slew of beloved celebrities shuffled off the mortal coil, and once again America just barely squeaked by on maintaining the basic tenets of democracy. It was rough, no doubt about it, and there are still 31 … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2022
Things tend to get hectic this time of year. We're firmly into Awards Season, with the various studios all jockeying for position as they campaign to the Academy and outright bribe the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. The International Feature entries start seeping into theatres, both independent and mainstream. As the holidays approach, there's an absolute … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – November 2022
Throughout the course of the year, there are a ton of terrible horror movies littered about the schedule. Most of the time, you can kind of tell that it's going to be crap because if it's released by a major studio (or Blumhouse) but not in October, that's almost an admission that the movie isn't … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – October 2022
Apologies for the radio silence over the past couple of weeks. Things have been incredibly hectic since I hit the big 4-0. I finished up one gig, prepared for the next one only to see it fall through, panicked about my finances, and then went home for a few days that were heavy to say … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – September 2022
It's official. As of this month, I will join the growing ranks of old men yelling at clouds, for later this August, I will turn 40. It is, if I'm being completely honest, a day I thought I'd never see, and to a small extent, I kind of wish that were the case. I don't … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2022
I'd say it's kind of hard to believe that we're already halfway through the year, but I understand how calendars work, so it's not like it's a surprise or anything. That said, the last several weeks have been exceedingly busy, so it does feel like time has flowed a bit faster than normal, especially when … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2022
Ten points if you get the reference in the thumbnail. The points have no value. One day they will. I have faith. But for now... no. Anyway, we're nearly halfway through 2022, which is shaping up to be better for film than the last two years. The pandemic is still going on, but most of … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2022
Yeah yeah, you know I was going to use this meme as a cover pic eventually. You can stop rolling your eyes. But there is a point to why I decided on such a tired joke to preface this particular edition of the column. And that's the fact that this month is almost entirely about … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2022
We're officially 1/4 of the way through the year! WOO! I guess. Anyway, now that the Oscar Blitz is complete and the book has been fully closed on 2021 (the Razzies even recanted their "prize" to Bruce Willis after he announced he had aphasia - but weirdly they didn't take back their "Redeemer" award for … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – April 2022
I Actually Paid To See This 