It's basically been a year since I've gotten to do this. In June 2020 I fell behind by two weeks, with the intent of doing a column in July, because that's when theatre chains were initially planning to open back up. But then everything went even further into the shit, reopening schedules were completely scrapped, … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2021
If you're actually reading this right now, there's at least a calculable chance that your first reaction was, "Why even bother?" For one, we're still in the throes of lockdown, with basically no functioning movie theatres to go to. For another, it's June 11 that I'm posting this. We're more than a third of the … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2020
The world is beset by a pandemic, and all of us are wondering how that's all going to turn out. Will we ever get back to normal? Can we go outside again? When can we pay money to physically go and see terrible movies again? Well, if you live in a state run by an … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2020
Well. This is awkward. As the nation remains in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic, the film industry has all but shut down. Major releases have been moved back or cancelled entirely. Theatre chains have shuttered their doors. At this point, on-demand and streaming are basically the only resources for new cinematic entertainment out there. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – April 2020
Top o'the mornin' ta ye! It's yer friendly neighborhood Irish back row film fanatic idiot. And yes, I'm totally actually Irish, and I have the tattoos to prove it. No, I don't have the DNA tests to prove it, because I absolutely dread the idea of potentially having to alter/remove my tattoos if I'm wrong. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – March 2020
On Sunday night, the highest awards in all of cinema will be handed out, as the 92nd annual Academy Awards take center stage. Dozens will win, more will be honored, for some ungodly reason Billie Eilish will be there, and I'm sure that given today's news, there will be a heaping helping of tributes to … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – February 2020
The balls have dropped, my friends! And while I still have a huge backlog of reviews to do (plus year/decade retrospectives and upcoming Oscar coverage), you didn't seriously think I'd forget to put on my Hater O'Haterly hat for our monthly slog through shit, did you? Of course I can't let this slip away. January … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – January 2020
Hooray, this shitty year is almost in the books! We've endured four god awful Disney remakes plus a sequel to a previous one! We've survived Jennifer Lopez in her natural state as a stripper! Somehow we've even made it past Donald Trump's head photoshopped onto Rocky Balboa and HIS CAMPAIGN TRYING TO SAY IT'S A … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2019
With the fall season in full swing, the jockeying for position for next year's Oscars kicks into high gear. We've already hit the deadlines and announcements for submissions in Animated Feature and International Feature. On November 21, we'll have the nominees for the Independent Spirit Awards, and in early December we'll get the Oscar shortlists. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – November 2019
We finally made it to fall! I can at last turn off my air conditioner... mostly. It's Los Angeles, what do you want? Anywho, the opening salvos of awards season have been fired, with some absolutely great films coming out (Ad Astra review coming soon), as well as some abject shit (The Goldfinch). We even … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – October 2019
I Actually Paid To See This 