On Sunday night, the highest awards in all of cinema will be handed out, as the 92nd annual Academy Awards take center stage. Dozens will win, more will be honored, for some ungodly reason Billie Eilish will be there, and I'm sure that given today's news, there will be a heaping helping of tributes to … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – February 2020
The balls have dropped, my friends! And while I still have a huge backlog of reviews to do (plus year/decade retrospectives and upcoming Oscar coverage), you didn't seriously think I'd forget to put on my Hater O'Haterly hat for our monthly slog through shit, did you? Of course I can't let this slip away. January … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – January 2020
Hooray, this shitty year is almost in the books! We've endured four god awful Disney remakes plus a sequel to a previous one! We've survived Jennifer Lopez in her natural state as a stripper! Somehow we've even made it past Donald Trump's head photoshopped onto Rocky Balboa and HIS CAMPAIGN TRYING TO SAY IT'S A … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2019
With the fall season in full swing, the jockeying for position for next year's Oscars kicks into high gear. We've already hit the deadlines and announcements for submissions in Animated Feature and International Feature. On November 21, we'll have the nominees for the Independent Spirit Awards, and in early December we'll get the Oscar shortlists. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – November 2019
We finally made it to fall! I can at last turn off my air conditioner... mostly. It's Los Angeles, what do you want? Anywho, the opening salvos of awards season have been fired, with some absolutely great films coming out (Ad Astra review coming soon), as well as some abject shit (The Goldfinch). We even … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – October 2019
The beginning of September signals a major turning point in the movie calendar. While it's technically not fall until the equinox late in the month, September means the end of summer blockbuster season and the beginning of awards season. Over the course of the month, studios will shift away from the major popcorn fare meant … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – September 2019
Welcome once again to our monthly exercise in spewing bile on the absolute worst that movie studios have to offer. It is a noble task upon which we embark, as we declare in one unified voice (mine) that we will not flush our money down these proverbial toilets, and that we demand quality cinema as … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2019
The summer is normally a time for massive blockbusters, but in all honesty, it's been pretty light this year. Never mind that this hasn't been the strongest year for cinema, but we've had two consecutive months with almost nothing to watch as far as mainstream studio output. There were only 15 major releases in June, … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2019
We're firmly into Summer Blockbuster season, and that means one of two strategies come to bear at the box office. Either the major studios will put out their biggest budget films against one another to battle it out for supremacy, or they'll space them out so that there's one default movie for audiences to watch … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2019
Welcome to the newest feature here on the blog! I've been tooling this one around in my head for a while now, more than a year actually. The initial seed of the idea was to do a "Back Row Thoughts" column about movie marketing methods that just need to die (and boy are there a … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2019
I Actually Paid To See This 