I'm not gonna lie, folks. I had almost no motivation to do the column this month. My mom's passing hit a lot harder than I thought it would, even though I knew the moment was coming for the last three years. I thought that extra time to prepare might dull the impact, but it didn't. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2023
Before I get started, I'd like to thank all of you for bearing with me over the last few weeks. My mother's death hit me harder than I expected it to, and the final arrangements were much more difficult to handle than I had anticipated. Still, spending time with my family helped, including making good … Continue reading Shut the Front Door! – Suzume
A programming note before I get started. The blog is going on a little bit of a hiatus for reasons that will become apparent very quickly. I'll be stepping aside for a couple of weeks, during which time I have no plans to see any new movies or post any content. It's my hope to … Continue reading The Ultimate Bonus Level – The Super Mario Bros. Movie
When I first saw the trailer for the latest adaptation of the Dungeons & Dragons game, my immediate reaction was one of terror. Not because anything in the teaser looked particularly scary, mind you, but because I still remember the god-awful 2000 film starring Jeremy Irons, and everything I saw indicated that this would be … Continue reading Charisma Check – Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
The coming of spring is usually a joyous occasion. It starts getting warmer, baseball season begins, and we pretend that Daylight Saving Time is a thing that actually matters. Unfortunately, I'm in Los Angeles right now, and the phrase "Atmospheric River" has been a part of our lexicon for far too long. It's one thing … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – April 2023
"You are now in the presence of the muthafuckin' KING!" proclaims Laurence Fishburne as the Bowery King in the opening moments of John Wick: Chapter 4. Presumably he's referring to himself, given his self-appointed title as leader of a network of homeless assassins and informants, but given that he prefaces this line with text from … Continue reading The Denouement – John Wick: Chapter 4
I really liked the first Shazam! movie from a few years ago. It was delightfully low stakes, Zachary Levi was tremendous as the titular original Captain Marvel, and honestly it was nice to see one of these superhero movies set in Philadelphia and largely not succumbing to cheap jokes and insults about the City of … Continue reading Family Feuds – Shazam! Fury of the Gods
I honestly thought about writing this post two days ago and changing the schedule on the Hub Post at the very last minute. Normally I give myself two days off between Oscar Night and this reaction blog because a) I'm exhausted, and b) there's usually some sort of shenanigans or controversy that I have to … Continue reading Oscar Blitz 2023 – Postmortem
We finally made it, everyone! After weeks of speculation, analysis, viewings, and general complaining, it's finally time for the 95th Academy Awards. The celebrities are out in force, idiots are asking about "who" a person is wearing when they really mean "what," and the good people at PricewaterhouseCoopers have been duly instructed to actually pay … Continue reading Oscar Blitz 2023 – Live Diary
Most of the time, when a film is pulled from a studio's release schedule, it's because the movie either isn't finished and won't be on time, or it's incredibly bad, necessitating a new date in order to let it quietly die alongside much stronger competition at the box office. Sometimes it's both. Over the last … Continue reading Hacking It – Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
I Actually Paid To See This 