In this month's edition of TFINYW, I was excited to declare Fool's Paradise as the "Redemption Reel," as it appeared to potentially be the only shred of quality in a weekend filled to the brim with the artistic and cinematic equivalent of rancid feces. And I was right about the output itself, which averages only … Continue reading Better to Remain Silent – Fool’s Paradise
I'm not gonna lie, folks. I had almost no motivation to do the column this month. My mom's passing hit a lot harder than I thought it would, even though I knew the moment was coming for the last three years. I thought that extra time to prepare might dull the impact, but it didn't. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2023
I'm knee deep in the annual Oscar Blitz, one that has been marred by the Academy's flabbergasting decision to relegate over a third of the categories to a pre-taped ceremony. So what better time than now to highlight the absolute crap coming in the month of March that the ruling corporate powers would rather pay … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – March 2022
A couple years ago, I worked on a game show called Mental Samurai. The basic premise of the show was to challenge the mental acuity of our contestants by asking them to solve 12 puzzles or trivia questions in the span of five minutes to win a decent chunk of money. The crux of the … Continue reading A Deadly Formula – Ava
Welcome once again to our monthly exercise in spewing bile on the absolute worst that movie studios have to offer. It is a noble task upon which we embark, as we declare in one unified voice (mine) that we will not flush our money down these proverbial toilets, and that we demand quality cinema as … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2019
Released by Warner Animation Group and voiced by a cast of A-listers, the new cartoon, Smallfoot begins with an interesting concept - Yetis encountering humans as the stuff of legend, not the other way around - throws in a moral thread about questioning authority and encouraging self-discovery, and teaches lessons about acceptance and abandoning old prejudices. … Continue reading Don’t Get Stoned, Stay Woke – Smallfoot
The Oscar for Original Song offers some of the most memorable moments in the history of the ceremony. Sometimes we get brilliant performances, like Robin Williams leading a whole stage chorus for South Park's "Blame Canada." Sometimes you get moments of delicious irony, like the face Barbra Streisand made when she had to announce that Eminem … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2018 – Original Song
I Actually Paid To See This 