Two items of business to address right up front. First, my financial/employment situation has not improved, so as you've no doubt already noticed, coverage of new movies is down severely at this point, and will likely continue for the foreseeable future. I've only reviewed one film for July, and I have one more in the … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – August 2025
Summertime, and the living's easy! Well, unless you're perpetually unemployed and financially hanging by a thread, of course. In that scenario the living's excruciatingly stressful and what little sleep you get is filled with existential nightmares. Thank God we still have movies, though. Seriously, the tiny specks of sanity I have left would be completely … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – June 2025
I think it's safe to say that this has not been a great year for movies thus far. I know the better stuff tends to be backloaded into the latter half of the calendar, particularly during the fall and early winter for Awards Season, but 2024 has noticeably been on the underwhelming side. Normally by … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2024
If you've had any kind of online presence over the last five days or so, you've probably seen that the reviews for Sony's latest Spider-Man adjacent film, Madame Web, have been abysmal. Even the few positive critiques (23 out of 181 as of this writing, making for a woeful 13% average on Rotten Tomatoes) basically … Continue reading Don’t Do Dumb Stuff – Madame Web
It's appropriate that I write this today on Groundhog Day. I mean, what could be more appropriate for a column such as this? It's a day where idiots cheer for the nonsensical prognostication abilities of a rodent, and in film form it's a day of torture for a guy named Bill. I mean, that's this … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – February 2024
I'd say it's kind of hard to believe that we're already halfway through the year, but I understand how calendars work, so it's not like it's a surprise or anything. That said, the last several weeks have been exceedingly busy, so it does feel like time has flowed a bit faster than normal, especially when … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2022
The "Best Actress Showcase" film is a common thing during Awards Season, typically in the form of a story uniquely suited to a female lead character, and often cast and shot in a way that heavily features the top line actress in an attempt to garner some hardware at the expense of everything else. It's … Continue reading The Parent Trap – The Lost Daughter
The world is beset by a pandemic, and all of us are wondering how that's all going to turn out. Will we ever get back to normal? Can we go outside again? When can we pay money to physically go and see terrible movies again? Well, if you live in a state run by an … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2020
We finally made it to fall! I can at last turn off my air conditioner... mostly. It's Los Angeles, what do you want? Anywho, the opening salvos of awards season have been fired, with some absolutely great films coming out (Ad Astra review coming soon), as well as some abject shit (The Goldfinch). We even … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – October 2019
First off, my apologies for not posting these past few weeks. As previously mentioned, I was on a work assignment that took up an inordinate amount of time. As such, I have a bit of catching up to do, which is why the first review back is for a film that debuted three weeks ago. Bad … Continue reading Not Quite Jackie, Not Quite Bill, but Definitely Not Cheesy – Bad Times at the El Royale
I Actually Paid To See This 