To put it lightly, August was... a cultural wasteland, a bubonic plague of cinematic garbage where one disaster after another flooded your local multiplex, to the point that Nicole Kidman saying "We make movies better" actually made you wonder how terrible the flick you watched was before AMC magically improved it by doing nothing. We … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – September 2024
Yes, folks, you read that right. Part. One! For the first time ever, I am forced to split the monthly preview parodying into two installments. I have to do this for three reasons. One is that I just wrapped up a show I've been working on for the last six months (keep an eye out … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2024, Part One
Ah February, such a wonderful time of the year. A season of love, a time of reflection on racial history, and also, horror movies... somehow. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever noticed, but the second month on the calendar tends to be the testing ground for the year in cinematic terror. Even though October … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – February 2022
We're in the thick of it now. Awards Season is officially underway, with the first submission deadlines come and gone for next year's Oscars. The studios are making their major moves, planning their releases as well as their For Your Consideration campaigns. In most years, this would also be the point where checks would start … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – November 2021
Spring and summer blockbuster audiences tend to be quite fickle these days. The biggest case in point right now is Avengers: Endgame, which had the single biggest opening weekend in movie history, and is all but sure to be the top-grossing film of the year worldwide (and probably domestically as well). However, it's already been dethroned … Continue reading Take a Breath and Reload – John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum
I Actually Paid To See This 