I must begin this unprecedented continuation of this month's column, as I often do, with an apology. At the end of the previous installment, I promised that I would conclude this week with the remaining trailers that have created a record-breaking 21 entries into this monthly project, as well as the "Redemption Reel" and the … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2024, Part Two
Greetings and salutations from the other side of 2023's dumpster fire! We endured a lot last year, and sadly, we're probably about to suffer through a whole lot more. Between ongoing wars, the possible end of American democracy, rampant racism and antisemitism, and Kim Kardashian trying to become a lawyer, the prospects for 2024 do … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – January 2024
It's official. As of this month, I will join the growing ranks of old men yelling at clouds, for later this August, I will turn 40. It is, if I'm being completely honest, a day I thought I'd never see, and to a small extent, I kind of wish that were the case. I don't … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2022
I confess I didn't have high expectations for DC League of Super-Pets. In fact, I included it in this month's edition of "TFINYW" for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that the Secret Life of Pets movies kind of soured me on the idea of animated movies about domesticated … Continue reading The Rock Rolls Over – DC League of Super-Pets
I'd say it's kind of hard to believe that we're already halfway through the year, but I understand how calendars work, so it's not like it's a surprise or anything. That said, the last several weeks have been exceedingly busy, so it does feel like time has flowed a bit faster than normal, especially when … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2022
Ten points if you get the reference in the thumbnail. The points have no value. One day they will. I have faith. But for now... no. Anyway, we're nearly halfway through 2022, which is shaping up to be better for film than the last two years. The pandemic is still going on, but most of … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2022
Hooray, this shitty year is almost in the books! We've endured four god awful Disney remakes plus a sequel to a previous one! We've survived Jennifer Lopez in her natural state as a stripper! Somehow we've even made it past Donald Trump's head photoshopped onto Rocky Balboa and HIS CAMPAIGN TRYING TO SAY IT'S A … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2019
I fully admit that I was not the biggest fan of The Secret Life of Pets when it came out a couple years ago. What began as an interesting premise - What do your pets do when you're not home? - quickly turned into 90 minutes of one-note jokes, a completely nonsensical Toy Story ripoff, some serious … Continue reading Literally Sent to a Farm Upstate – The Secret Life of Pets 2
Kevin Hart is a bit of a hit-or-miss for me. He's a brilliant comedian and performer, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. One minute he's tearing up the stage on any of his stand-up specials, the next he's a homicidal bunny. Some days he's the busiest man in Hollywood, seemingly popping up in every … Continue reading The GED is DOA – Night School
I Actually Paid To See This 