Tomorrow is my birthday, so this weekend I decided I would celebrate a little bit by returning to the multiplex. Despite my financial woes, it is still my goal to stay as far ahead of the potential slate for next year's Animated Feature contest as possible. Also, in a bit of good news, I finally … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Wheel of Four Toons
Yes, folks, you read that right. Part. One! For the first time ever, I am forced to split the monthly preview parodying into two installments. I have to do this for three reasons. One is that I just wrapped up a show I've been working on for the last six months (keep an eye out … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2024, Part One
The fundamental flaw with Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda 4 is spelled out in the first few minutes. As Po, the Dragon Warrior (Jack Black, still enthusiastic in his voice work for the most part) arrives for a very special ceremony - the opening of a new noodle shop run by his dads, Mr. Ping (James … Continue reading Come On, Chameleon! – Kung Fu Panda 4
Let's face facts, folks. The first two months of this year have been grim from a movie standpoint. January and February typically aren't bastions of quality, mind you, but usually there's something to latch onto as a genuine hit, perhaps even a surprising one. To say that this has not been the case in 2024 … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – March 2024
The Year of Our Lord of the Rings Two Thousand and Twenty-three is almost in the books, and quite frankly, I'm relieved. This has been one of the more difficult years in my life, not the least of which because my mother died and I'm dead flat broke. But also, it just feels like this … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2023
I'm not gonna lie, folks. I had almost no motivation to do the column this month. My mom's passing hit a lot harder than I thought it would, even though I knew the moment was coming for the last three years. I thought that extra time to prepare might dull the impact, but it didn't. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2023
We're officially 1/4 of the way through the year! WOO! I guess. Anyway, now that the Oscar Blitz is complete and the book has been fully closed on 2021 (the Razzies even recanted their "prize" to Bruce Willis after he announced he had aphasia - but weirdly they didn't take back their "Redeemer" award for … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – April 2022
The films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe tend to follow a fairly set formula at this point, especially for the origin stories. You get the standard hero's journey archetype of an otherwise mild-mannered person thrust into a supernatural situation beyond their control. There are a couple of good action scenes to make up for the … Continue reading Endure the Bad for the Really Good – Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Welcome to the first review for the official 2021 cinematic canon! Yes, I've been doing reviews ever since the calendar turned over nearly three months ago, but all of those were 2020 movies that had delayed releases (strategically and by circumstance) and/or are competing in this year's Academy Awards. If 2020 had been normal, they … Continue reading A Grand, Mystical Fetch Quest – Raya and the Last Dragon
The Academy Award nominations are just under a week away, and as the final preview, we now have the list of contenders for the major Hollywood labor unions and the British Film Academy! There's a lot to sift through, and as the results trickle in over the next few weeks, we'll get a lot of … Continue reading Unions, Jack! – BAFTA and Guild Nominations Announced!
I Actually Paid To See This 