You may be wondering why this month's column is coming out so late, nine whole days into January. Well, there are three reasons. The first is that, right after Christmas, I got a stye in my left eye. Despite multiple attempts to pop and/or drain it, the thing got so big that my eye was … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – January 2025
We are in the 11th hour. By the time most of you read this, the Academy will have announced the nominees for the 96th Oscars. As I'm writing, we're but nine or so away, and while I obsess over this, I have no intention of getting up before dawn to see the live reveal. I … Continue reading DownStream – The Big Red N-velope, Part Four: The Main Event
As I watched the utterly delightful The Phantom of the Open the other day, I had an odd thought. Given all of the various movie franchises we've got crammed into our collective consciousness these days, this film provides an opportunity for something truly groundbreaking. What we need are cinematic universes where Mark Rylance gets to … Continue reading The Road to Perfection – The Phantom of the Open
After the absolutely infuriating tragedy that was Eternals, the Marvel Cinematic Universe desperately needs a palate cleanser, if not a full-on reversal to redeem itself. Hope was on the horizon with a new Spider-Man movie fast approaching, one that would also feature Doctor Strange. Tom Holland is widely considered to be the greatest version of … Continue reading Into the Villain-Verse – Spider-Man: No Way Home
It's the holiday season, and bad movies are the gifts that keep on giving. This year is no exception. As Awards Season reaches its peak, there are oh so many also-rans and downright pieces of shit out there that studios are hoping to make some money off of in the meantime, either by selling them … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2021
I Actually Paid To See This 