It's official. As of this month, I will join the growing ranks of old men yelling at clouds, for later this August, I will turn 40. It is, if I'm being completely honest, a day I thought I'd never see, and to a small extent, I kind of wish that were the case. I don't … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2022
There's a fine line to walk when doing meta commentary within a movie. Essentially, when you do something so self-reflexive and self-referential, you're catering mostly to an audience that knows the subject with more than just passing familiarity. As such, you open yourself up to more scrutiny whenever you flub something. This manifests a lot … Continue reading Don’t Call it a Comeback! – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
So, I've had a day to decompress. There was a LOT going on with this year's Oscars, most of it pretty bad, and that's before we even got to "The Slap." The ceremony opened with Venus and Serena Williams talking to a camera at the back of stage, making me openly wonder if I was … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2022 – Postmortem (VIDEO)
The balls have dropped, my friends! And while I still have a huge backlog of reviews to do (plus year/decade retrospectives and upcoming Oscar coverage), you didn't seriously think I'd forget to put on my Hater O'Haterly hat for our monthly slog through shit, did you? Of course I can't let this slip away. January … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – January 2020
I fully admit that I was not the biggest fan of The Secret Life of Pets when it came out a couple years ago. What began as an interesting premise - What do your pets do when you're not home? - quickly turned into 90 minutes of one-note jokes, a completely nonsensical Toy Story ripoff, some serious … Continue reading Literally Sent to a Farm Upstate – The Secret Life of Pets 2
The first Lego Movie was one of the most unique moments in modern cinema history. It was an absolutely shameless bit of corporate synergy that at the same time was a visual marvel filled with laughs, amazing animation, and an emotional gut punch of an ending that was surprisingly profound, taking us out of the animated … Continue reading Everything is Not Quite Awesome, But Still Pretty Fun – The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part
Kevin Hart is a bit of a hit-or-miss for me. He's a brilliant comedian and performer, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. One minute he's tearing up the stage on any of his stand-up specials, the next he's a homicidal bunny. Some days he's the busiest man in Hollywood, seemingly popping up in every … Continue reading The GED is DOA – Night School
I Actually Paid To See This 