I have to say, as we approach Thanksgiving, there are years where it gets really hard to find anything for which to be thankful, because what the sentiment actually means is an acknowledgement of the good things in your life. This has been an incredibly difficult year for my family and me. We've suffered a … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – November 2025
You ever get that feeling that no matter how hard you try, everything not only turns out wrong, but seems designed to make life that much worse by its very existence? That's what the last several months have been for me. Between being unemployed for nearly a year, approaching a phase of literal worthlessness, insulting … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – July 2025
Summertime, and the living's easy! Well, unless you're perpetually unemployed and financially hanging by a thread, of course. In that scenario the living's excruciatingly stressful and what little sleep you get is filled with existential nightmares. Thank God we still have movies, though. Seriously, the tiny specks of sanity I have left would be completely … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – June 2025
Life is, if nothing else, a continuous learning experience. That old adage of picking up new information every day might be trite, but it's also extremely accurate. For example, I just found out today that I've been doing the title of this column wrong for all these years. I'm supposed to capitalize "Is" because despite … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – March 2025
In Netflix's never-ending quest to destroy the theatrical film model once and for all, they put forward a lot of movies in hopes of garnering some Academy hardware. In addition to the two International Feature submissions they put their marketing heft behind (Chile's In Her Place and the massively overblown exercise in missing the point … Continue reading DownStream – TUDUM! Part Three – Narrative Features
I think we can safely call it at this point, 2024 has not been a great year for film. Sure, there have been a few genuinely superlative entries here and there, but for the most part, even the best movies have been largely unmemorable. Pretty much all the major contenders for Awards Season were crammed … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2024
Happy birthday, America! Or rather, Happy Barbecue and Fireworks Day, as the Supreme Court decided three days ago to essentially kill the republic by declaring the former President a monarch unaccountable to the law. Hey, we had almost 248 years. It was a good run. In that spirit, I have decided that for this month's … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2024
It's appropriate that I write this today on Groundhog Day. I mean, what could be more appropriate for a column such as this? It's a day where idiots cheer for the nonsensical prognostication abilities of a rodent, and in film form it's a day of torture for a guy named Bill. I mean, that's this … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – February 2024
The Oscar nominations have finally been announced, and as such, the annual Blitz is in full effect. In the final days leading up to the reveal, I was able to squeeze in two more movies via Netflix in the hopes of checking off a couple nominees in advance. Well, I half succeeded. One of these … Continue reading DownStream – The Netflix Pre-Blitz
It's the holiday season, and bad movies are the gifts that keep on giving. This year is no exception. As Awards Season reaches its peak, there are oh so many also-rans and downright pieces of shit out there that studios are hoping to make some money off of in the meantime, either by selling them … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2021
I Actually Paid To See This 