This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – June 2025

Summertime, and the living’s easy! Well, unless you’re perpetually unemployed and financially hanging by a thread, of course. In that scenario the living’s excruciatingly stressful and what little sleep you get is filled with existential nightmares. Thank God we still have movies, though. Seriously, the tiny specks of sanity I have left would be completely gone if I couldn’t take in a flick or two each week.

Hell, last weekend I had to go through the wringer to see something, only to realize none of the aggravation was necessary, and I didn’t even care. I saw that a new animated film from South Korea called Lost in Starlight was having a one-week qualifying run at the Laemmle Theatre in Glendale. I live in West L.A. near Venice Beach, so Glendale can be a bit of a drive, but I’m used to it, as when I do work it’s usually in North Hollywood or Burbank, which is right next door, and this particular Laemmle location is where most indie animated pictures have their requisite premiere for Academy eligibility. I’ve made this trek plenty of times.

I got up early enough on Friday to ensure myself a full hour to get there before the first showing of the day, which would also help me avoid most of the rush hour traffic to get home. Unfortunately, even though it was the middle of a weekday, literally every highway interchange had insane logjams (mostly from assholes in expensive cars who think it’s okay to swerve across three lanes without signaling to make an exit at the last possible second), so what normally takes 35-45 minutes took 80. I missed the start of the first show by 20 minutes, meaning I had to kill three hours before the next one. I had as slow of a lunch as possible, then went to get gas, but went the wrong way going back, and it was so hot that my phone was overheating in my car (I haven’t had A/C in the vehicle since 2017), and thus I couldn’t get a GPS signal. I literally went to a convenience store, stood there until the phone cooled down enough to let me get online again, and bought a can of soda out of the fridge just so I could hold something cold against the phone while it directed me back to the theatre. When I finally sat down – as the only one in the auditorium – the lights dimmed and I saw a Netflix logo. The movie was readily available to stream, and I just went through this whole rigmarole for no reason. And yet, I was happy, because I was watching a film. It’s my only constant joy when things are down, and despite the shenanigans, it was worth it.

But sadly, as we all know, not everything at the multiplex is worth your time, or your cash. Even in the best of times a shitty movie can feel like melted ice cream dribbling down your hand. Not only have you lost a delicious treat that cost you money, but your arm gets all sticky, making you even more annoyed. So as we dive into the summer months, we must be ever vigilant and judicious with our movie-going choices, especially if you’re like me and damn near dead broke. June offers a slew of possibilities, including some major tentpole releases, but most of them probably aren’t worthy of your attention or money, at least based on the trailers. Out of the 23 films on offer this month, the outwardly shitty outrank the potential quality by a score of 13-10. As I always say, this doesn’t necessarily mean that the previews I’m about to go over will actually portend a bad experience at the cinema, nor does it mean that the films that pass the smell test will be universally great. It’s just a first impression, and for this month, the bad impressions outweigh the good.

Still, this can always lead to positive things. If it turns out that most of June’s output sucks, then you can always just go outside and enjoy the summer sun. Just make sure to grab a few napkins when you get your snack on.

This is the June 2025 edition of “This Film Is Not Yet Watchable!”

Ballerina – June 6

Right off the bat is a film that I honestly don’t think will be bad. It’s already been “Certified Fresh” by Rotten Tomatoes, but it also demonstrates the problem with that site’s willingness to get in bed with the studios. The film comes out tomorrow (and really it debuts today/tonight in major markets), and reviews were embargoed until yesterday. The first batch placed the movie around 78%, but as we all know, the RT scores only tend to go down once a movie is actually released, and advance reviews are usually curated from sources that tend to be friendly to the studios and their various PR firms. This is a prime example. The website waited until that all-too-crucial 80th review came in, saw the number at 75%, both the bare minimum for “Certified Fresh” status, and quickly slapped the logo onto Ballerina so that Lionsgate – desperate for a win – can start advertising the endorsement.

The problem is, mere hours after it got the sticker, the rating is already down to 73%, below the required bar. Rotten Tomatoes does this a lot when it comes to major releases. They rush to bestow their highest status without waiting to see if the consensus is sustained, and thus a picture that may not actually get the thumbs up from three out of four critics is inappropriately given a free publicity tool. They do this for two main reasons. One, they want to sell sponsorship to the very studios and networks that put out this stuff, and to do so they want to be seen as accommodating. Two, there are several butthurt producers and directors who blame the website and its aggregate ratings when a film does poorly at the box office, as if it’s somehow a violation of their art for an internet site to simply publish an average of what other people are saying. Yes, it would be better if RT used a more appropriately weighted formula like Metacritic, rather than just a straight pass/fail proposition, but blaming them for publishing pull quotes and links from publicly available resources is just a bad faith argument. Still, the folks running the site don’t want to be seen as biased against the Hollywood system, so they pull crap like this to appease the big distributors.

This is why they also introduced the “Certified Hot” audience popcorn ratings last year, so that their benefactors can argue that a film like the Lilo & Stitch remake is still good despite missing that line. That flick has a 71% rating, which is decent, but the audience score is 93%. This lets Disney assert that the audience knows better than the critics, even though it’s apples and oranges, because as part of an established IP, the crowd that goes to see this is skewed towards fans of the studio and the property. Long story short, it’s all bullshit.

Anyway, as to Ballerina, I’ll probably see it, but nothing in the trailer compels me to. It looks like a standard-issue franchise spinoff where Keanu Reeves’ John Wick will make a customary cameo appearance. I love me some Ana de Armas, but this has all the earmarks of a lazy attempt to cash in on the name of the series rather than tell a new or interesting story, because Heaven forbid we just let something die, especially when the title character has been killed off (with the obvious caveat that they can undo that death whenever they want to). We’re not exactly hurting for Wick content, as it’s only been two years since the last installment, and The Continental by all accounts sucked ass, so why do we continue trying to get blood from a stone?

Predator: Killer of Killers – June 6

In case you’re curious from reading the preamble as to why I haven’t reviewed Lost in Starlight yet, it’s because I’m saving it for a “DownStream” column later this month, as there are two other streaming animated films coming out in June, so I might as well lump them all together in one batch critique. Unfortunately, the other two movies are both featured in this month’s column. Here’s the first, Predator: Killer of Killers.

I’ve never been much of a fan of the Predator franchise, but I can see its value. That said, this does little for me on first look. I’ll give it a chance, but this seems very underwhelming. I don’t care if you brought back the director of Prey (which was apparently quite good), you’re still releasing this on Hulu rather than giving it a full theatrical run, which remains a red flag. Also, this odd mix of warriors from what appear to be different times and cultures has a weird Captain Planet vibe to it, and the art style is a clear ripoff of Arcane.

The trailer does demonstrate that we won’t skimp out on the gore here, though, so there is hope.

The Ritual – June 6

This trailer lost me the instant that “The true story that inspired The Exorcist” came on the screen. One, I can just watch The Exorcist, which is one of the greatest horror films of all time, and literally every exorcism film since has been inferior. Two, fun fact, there’s no such thing as demon possession, so there is no “true” story to inspire the film, so everything this movie presupposes is bullshit.

More importantly, can we please give Al Pacino a project worthy of his talents? He’s one of the greatest actors who ever lived, and yet most of the last 30 years have been spent turning him into a caricature just because he said “HOO-ah!” a bunch in Scent of a Woman (never mind that he won an Oscar for that performance). Here he’s clearly going through the motions, and for reasons known but to the Almighty they decided he should talk like Russell Crowe doing a Russian accent. Al, you are better than this, and you DESERVE better than this. Do not go gentle into that good night, great one.

Straw – June 6

Speaking of Al Pacino, here’s a blasphemous clone of Dog Day Afternoon directed by Tyler Perry. Need I say more? Well, I will. Tyler Perry is one of the entities responsible for the TV and film industry’s mass exodus out of Los Angeles and into tax havens like Atlanta, so fuck that guy! He’s part of the reason why my career hangs in the balance and the last year has been Hell. If he at least made GOOD movies I could stomach it, but all he’s doing is making one made-for-BET melodrama after another and using his clout to get them in theatres or on respected streamers, even though his work never turns a profit or wins over critics and audiences. Why is he so powerful?!

How to Train Your Dragon – June 13

You know me. You know I hate remakes. You know I really hate the remakes of Disney animated classics. So after 15 years of this monstrous habit where every single one of these movies is almost universally reviled, what lesson did DreamWorks learn? WE SHOULD DO IT, TOO!

There is absolutely nothing to justify making this movie again, and the only noticeable difference is that Astrid is a brunette now. Toothless still looks 10 times better in cartoon form than he does here, and the actor they hired to play Hiccup (Mason Thames from The Black Phone) just sounds like a generic teenager rather than the fun, wimpy-yet-secretly-competent voice that Jay Baruchel brought to the role.

The only remote credibility this project has is that Chris Sanders gave his blessing and Dean DeBlois, who co-directed the original with Sanders, is back to direct here. So-called “live action” remakes are a sin against cinema, but at least in this case the original creators get some modicum of control. So many of the Disney redos have, by design, shunted out the original writers, directors, and animators, repurposing their work without proper credit or compensation. At least with this, the actual artists are making sure that their creation is not just copied without giving them their due. It’s not much of a consolation, but I’ll take what I can get.

Materialists – June 13

No lie, this was going to be “The Worst Trailer in the World” were it not for the fact that it’s being put out by A24. Their normal output is some of the greatest works of modern film, so I’ll let them have a mulligan here.

Because good lord, this looks like it’s going to be one of the worst movies of the year, full stop. It’s just a gender-swapped version of Hitch, only instead of the high-price matchmaker helping a dumpy guy have the confidence to woo someone deemed “out of their league” by body image gatekeepers, everybody’s SUPER HOT! Progress!

Seriously, this looks disgusting, and the fact that this is Celine Song’s follow-up to Past Lives makes me retroactively downgrade that previous masterpiece. I mean, putting the chick who faked her way through three Fifty Shades movies’ worth of orgasms in the middle of a love triangle between Chris Evans and Pedro Pascal? So relatable! There’s seemingly no comeuppance for all the shallow shitheels she fixes up for money, facilitating nine marriages is considered a success worth celebrating (while also emphasizing marriage as the romantic ideal rather than, you know, a healthy relationship on the participants’ terms), and as usual Dakota Johnson delivers her lines as if she’s mildly irritated by the wooden plank one-upping her just out of frame. The only difference between this and Madame Web is that this time Coke gets to have the shameless product placement instead of Pepsi.

“I can have any man I want, but HOW will I choose between Captain American and the Mandalorian?” And we’re supposed to treat this as legitimate romance? Fuck off!

The Unholy Trinity – June 13

A bunch of way too obvious religious references in naming things, Pierce Brosnan constantly switching between an Irish and American Western accent, and Samuel L. Jackson repurposing his costume and makeup from The Hateful Eight. Why would anyone waste their breath?

Echo Valley – June 13

The trailer says this comes out on the 13th, but Wikipedia says it’s been moved up to the 6th. Either way, this looks like a piece of shit you shouldn’t bother with.

Sydney Sweeney apparently kills her abusive boyfriend in self-defense, and runs to her mom, Julianne Moore. Rather than going to the police, explaining the situation, and taking responsibility, the pair instead decide to cover up the death, with Moore dumping the body in a lake. Shocker of shockers, that doesn’t make the problem go away, with all the loose ends pointing squarely at them and threatening them further.

This is supposed to be thrilling? At worst, if you come forward, you get manslaughter, and if you have a good lawyer and a compassionate judge, you’ll probably make out even better. Instead, by hiding the body, you’ve got conspiracy, murder, and for Moore, aiding and abetting. So rather than have a reasonable sentence that can be worked out in a sympathetic system, we’re meant to care about people who willingly put themselves in a situation where life in prison is a real possibility for two instead of one, and that’s assuming they don’t get killed by those investigating the crime. Dumb.

KPop Demon Hunters – June 20

Here’s the other streaming cartoon, and hoo boy, this looks bad. Never mind the boy band/girl group nonsense that nearly ruined Turning Red being used as the focal point for this movie, the trailer is filled to the brim with clichés and stereotypes. The animation itself looks like a second-rate copy of the Spider-Verse movies (which I guess makes sense since Sony is behind this and is literally trying to lump them together in this pitch), and every word that comes out of the main trio’s mouths makes me want to jam knitting needles into my ears.

Further, what would make me or any other reasonable person give a crap about the underlying conflict? As the girls themselves say, the demons only steal the souls of KPop fans. So I’m in no danger, and the same will be true of anyone who decides to listen to actual music (and this is assuming KPop fans even have souls, since they willingly dump collective billions of dollars into mass-produced idiocy). Problem solved. Why do we need 90 minutes of bullshit? If the demons win, is that really a loss for the rest of the world?

I’ll watch it because I’m an Animated Feature completist, and I’ll even hope that it’s actually good. But all evidence points to a catastrophic turd that can’t be polished.

Bride Hard – June 20

As Melissa McCarthy’s Spy celebrates its 10th anniversary, its legacy is ripe for the tarnishing. So here’s Bride Hard, a god-awful spy parody starring Rebel Wilson as a bridesmaid who kicks all the ass while still playing up every single “crazy bridezilla” trope. Dear God, why?

Seriously, between this and Juliet & Romeo last month, I’m genuinely worried for Wilson’s career. She’s somehow making even worse decisions than appearing in Cats. I think she might need help, you guys.

F1 – June 27

The first teaser for this film was basically Brad Pitt giving the finger to vehicular safety while a straight minute of VROOM sounds made your ears bleed. The full trailer is, somehow, worse.

I mean, this is just a feature length commercial for the Formula 1 racing series, right? I get that the circuit has become more popular in recent years, but that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to our cash just for advertising to us for two hours. And if you watch the trailer, you see that they really feel like they are, as there’s nothing of substance to any of this. You have Pitt as an aging NASCAR driver, doing a voice that’s an unholy mixture of Cole Trickle and Ricky Bobby, and he’s juxtaposed with relative newcome Damson Idris as “Generic Rival/Protégé #4,712: Bonus Points Because He’s a Minority.”

Literally, do we learn anything about these characters other than broad stroke tautologies? More importantly, do we learn anything about the actual fascinating science behind grand prix racing? Do we even care that a NASCAR driver would scarcely be capable of transitioning between these vehicles, given that the F1 cars go nearly 100 mph faster and pummel the operator with twice the g-force? No? We’re just here to give Pitt another excuse to pretend he’s only 35? Cool. Cool. You so deserve hundreds of millions of dollars.

Off the Grid – June 27

Yet another mindless action thriller from Lionsgate. This time we’re wasting the talents of Greg Kinnear and Peter Stormare. Josh Duhamel is also in this, but I couldn’t include him in the previous sentence because I was talking about talent.

I know I harp on these films a lot, but it’s not like it’s hard to make a fun B-movie action beat-em-up. Hell, there’s one coming out next week, also from Lionsgate. It’s called Diablo, starring Scott Adkins, doing what he does best: excellently choreographed fight scenes where he’s not afraid to let his character get properly walloped (unlike Dwayne Johnson or Jason Statham, who literally have it written into their contracts that they’re not allowed to lose a fight onscreen). This isn’t good enough to warrant “Redemption Reel” status, but compare the two trailers. You’ll see what I’m talking about.

The difference is that Adkins and his ilk care about making something visually pleasing first and foremost, whereas Off the Grid looks like more standard Lionsgate fare that only cares about trying to profit by mildly tickling your lizard brain. The contrast in pure effort is noticeable even in the previews. So just know, when I rip on Lionsgate’s crap, I do so knowing they can do better.

***

With that, we move on to this month’s “winner” of the title of “The Worst Trailer in the World.” I’ll admit, this preview isn’t terrible, and the accompanying movie might actually be fun. Still, I have to dock it for having all the earmarks of a mindless sequel, and I have to mock it for its batshit refusal to adhere to even basic tenets of logic.

M3GAN 2.0 – June 27

Like I said, there are worse trailers this time around, as noted above, but this one fit the bill for the series too nicely. Though now I have to rethink my strategies yet again. When I published this today, I got copyright claimed by Universal for six different clips used in the video. It makes me wonder if the auto-flag algorithm has changed. For the longest time you could avoid a claim if you didn’t use more than 10 continuous seconds of footage, or more than 12 in a given 20. I got flagged for two and three-second clips scattered throughout the video. Mind you, I have every right to use the footage, because my videos are works of commentary and parody, which are both covered under Fair Use. But that doesn’t stop the studios from trying to quash any potentially negative reactions, and since my channel isn’t nearly big enough for YouTube to assign a human to handle my disputes, it’s literally up to Universal itself to waive their claim should I try to fight it.

Thankfully, this nonsense doesn’t prevent you from seeing the video. It would only possibly prevent me from making money off it if my channel was monetized. I’m nowhere near that point yet. I need hundreds more subscribers before I can even think about it. That said, my new series of Shorts where I review new releases using three randomly-generated words is doing pretty well in the early going, so maybe that bar isn’t as far away as I’d previously thought. Fingers crossed.

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Finally, we end things as we always do, with this month’s “Redemption Reel.” The recipient this month should come as no surprise, as I’ve been waiting on tenterhooks for this picture for the last two years.

Elio – June 20

There are some reasons to be hesitant, like the fact that the central conflict seems to play like a reverse Lilo & Stitch, or that the human characters still have that weird, bulbous, rubbery plasticine look from the likes of Luca and Turning Red. But I’m willing to set that aside, because from the moment this movie was announced, I’ve been dying to see it. The idea of a lonely kid actively wanting to be abducted because he doesn’t feel like he fits in on Earth is both an emotional gut punch and a catalyst for so much imaginative storytelling potential.

I remember when I was a kid, and the idea of alien abduction was a huge part of popular culture and media. Even before The X-Files became a thing, there were tons of TV documentaries and investigative specials about close encounters and whether or not extraterrestrial visits were really plausible. Even my mom once told us that if spacemen ever came down and asked her to go with them, she’d board the ship in a heartbeat, dangers be damned, because even if they killed her, it would be a wonderful final adventure. I didn’t necessarily agree with that, especially because she said she’d still go even if the aliens told her to leave my sister and I behind, but I understood the sentiment, and the limitless possibilities of outer space still get me teary-eyed to this day.

So yeah, I’m easy pickings for Pixar on this one. More importantly, though, I just want this to succeed because we haven’t had a really great Pixar original since Soul. Sure, the output since then has had a couple of high points, but the overall films have just been average-to-good, with Inside Out 2 being the only real triumph. That worries me. We’ve already seen how mainline Disney has basically been turned into a sequel factory, what with the failures of Wish and Strange World. I don’t want the same thing to happen to Pixar. They’ve already got Cars 4 and Toy Story 5 in production as we speak. If we can’t get a legit hit out of an original property soon, we might be staring down the barrel of The Good Dinosaur 12.

So please, please, PLEASE be a return to form, Elio. We need you to reach pantheon levels for all that have come before you, and all that is to come. No pressure, kid.

***

That’s all for this month, folks! As always, I hope you enjoy yourselves at the multiplex this month, no matter what you go see. Let the summer festivities begin! And as always, take care of yourselves.

Join the conversation in the comments below! Do you plan to see any of these films? Was I too hard on any of them? How exactly could KPop music save the world… other than killing the aliens from the Quiet Place movies? Let me know! And remember, you can follow me on Twitter (fuck “X”) as well as Bluesky, and subscribe to my YouTube channel for even more content, and check out the entire BTRP Media Network at btrpmedia.com!