Yeah yeah, you know I was going to use this meme as a cover pic eventually. You can stop rolling your eyes. But there is a point to why I decided on such a tired joke to preface this particular edition of the column. And that's the fact that this month is almost entirely about … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2022
In the midst of big budget studio fare and upcoming blockbusters, it's nice to know that there are still smaller, more intimate films to enjoy. We don't have too much of it here in America, but thankfully our friends across the Atlantic are expert at filling the need. The latest is The Duke, starring Jim … Continue reading Definitely Worth a Thousand Words – The Duke
Through his first two films - The Witch and the criminally underrated The Lighthouse - Robert Eggers has already proven himself to be an absolute master at setting mood, atmosphere, and tone. His careful eye for production design, combined with his uncanny ability to draw out the most intense performances possible from his actors, has … Continue reading Valhalla, I Am Coming – The Northman
There's a fine line to walk when doing meta commentary within a movie. Essentially, when you do something so self-reflexive and self-referential, you're catering mostly to an audience that knows the subject with more than just passing familiarity. As such, you open yourself up to more scrutiny whenever you flub something. This manifests a lot … Continue reading Don’t Call it a Comeback! – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
Film is a fickle artform sometimes. Every once in a while, no matter how good an idea is, or how earnest the intent, the final product just doesn't work. Even when you look at all the individual elements, there are those rare moments when it all falls flat for one reason or another. And workability … Continue reading Kill Your Self – Dual
When the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie came out just over two years ago, a lot of flaws were forgiven because Paramount as a studio engendered a ton of goodwill by listening to fan reactions to the film's first teasers and delaying its release in order to fix Sonic's nightmare fuel design. The final product … Continue reading Power Bump – Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Normally I try to put out a review within 24-48 hours of seeing a movie. Sometimes my schedule gets in the way, but more often than not, I want to critique something while it's still fresh in my mind. That was not possible in this case. It's not that Everything Everywhere All at Once didn't … Continue reading Embrace the Chaos – Everything Everywhere All at Once
Going over the film trailers for the April edition of TFINYW, one jumped out to me so strongly that I just had to include it as this month's "Redemption Reel." Written and directed by Richard Linklater, Apollo 10 1/2 had that wonderfully odd, imaginative charm that has been at the forefront of Linklater's best films, … Continue reading A Moon Age Daydream – Apollo 10 1/2
We're officially 1/4 of the way through the year! WOO! I guess. Anyway, now that the Oscar Blitz is complete and the book has been fully closed on 2021 (the Razzies even recanted their "prize" to Bruce Willis after he announced he had aphasia - but weirdly they didn't take back their "Redeemer" award for … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – April 2022
The Oscars are done. The Blitz is over. All the films that I'm going to see for any of these purposes I've seen. There's just one last thing to do to officially wrap up 2021 in cinema, and that's to acknowledge the absolute bottom of the barrel. Please welcome, Billie Eilish! Just kidding. I'd never … Continue reading Just One More Thing… – 42nd Annual Razzies!
I Actually Paid To See This 