Let me tell you about a fun little aspect of my existence. As a lifelong Trekkie/Trekker, part of my fandom includes belonging to a Facebook group called "Star Trek Shitposting." It is exactly what it sounds like. We (there's about 95,000 of us currently) fuck about, posting memes and jokes related to Star Trek and … Continue reading Bonk! Go to Horny Brig! – Voyagers
The superhero parody is nothing new. Pretty much ever since comic books hit the mainstream there's been a subset of the genre that pokes fun at the concepts and tropes. For every Superman there's a Deadpool, for every Batman a Kick-Ass. Now, writer/director Ben Falcone, in his fifth collaboration with his wife Melissa McCarthy, brings … Continue reading This Movie Will Give You Crabs – Thunder Force
I have a major problem with horror movies that focus its terrors on religious mythology, specifically Judeo-Christian. It's not that religion can't be scary. Just look at The Exorcist, one of the greatest films of all time, and not just for the horror genre. My issue is that for the vast majority of these films, … Continue reading Cinematic Evidence That God Doesn’t Exist – The Unholy
After 2019's Godzilla: King of the Monsters, I had two meaningful requests for the inevitable clash between Gojira and King Kong. The first was that we'd have some combat take place during the day, so we could actually see what's going on, instead of that film's sickly rain-on-night blue darkness that obscured just about everything. … Continue reading Monster Trash – Godzilla vs. Kong
The task is complete. After a few more days and three more viewings, I have finished all the feature length films that have gotten at least one Oscar nomination this year. All that remains are the Shorts, which will be released theatrically and online this coming Friday, April 2. Each of our final three films … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Blitz Catch-Up, Part 3
The leitmotif of middle-aged actors becoming action film stars is always a fascinating one, because you can never quite tell which ones will work and which ones won't. Yeah, there are fairly safe guesses like Liam Neeson, who was always a badass, and Keanu Reeves, who had action chops as part of his repertoire beforehand. … Continue reading Better Call a Pall Bearer – Nobody
The official Blitz starts tomorrow with a breakdown of the Documentary Feature category. However, we still have a few more movies to watch to actually be able to complete coverage. A couple days ago I posted Part 1 of this nine film mini-marathon, and now it's time for Part 2. Three more films to take … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Blitz Catch-Up, Part 2
Part of the problem with a lot of spy thrillers is that the films lean much more into the action fantasy than the actual tradecraft of espionage, for fear that the actual nuts and bolts of an operation would come off as boring. A couple of films over the past decade plus have given it … Continue reading The Tale of the Moscow Mule – The Courier
Now that the Oscar nominations are out, the annual Blitz is on in full effect. From the moment they were announced, I already had 13 of the 23 categories sewn up, enough for me to plan out my coverage on a tentative basis. I'll go over all that tomorrow, but suffice to say, when all … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Blitz Catch-up, Part 1
Welcome to the first review for the official 2021 cinematic canon! Yes, I've been doing reviews ever since the calendar turned over nearly three months ago, but all of those were 2020 movies that had delayed releases (strategically and by circumstance) and/or are competing in this year's Academy Awards. If 2020 had been normal, they … Continue reading A Grand, Mystical Fetch Quest – Raya and the Last Dragon
I Actually Paid To See This 