If you'll recall, during the Oscar Blitz, I registered my deep disdain for the Documentary Short, A Night at the Garden, because it was nothing more than a highlight reel of archival footage about a Nazi rally in New York, without any commentary, interviews, or narrative of any kind. I found it lazy and tossed off, … Continue reading Fly Me to the Moon – Apollo 11
"Am I the only one who's confused here?" asks the offscreen voice of an alien probing the thoughts and memories of Carol Danvers, aka Vers, aka the eventual titular Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), trying to find crucial information in the pausing, jumping, reversing, and replaying of a few scenes of her past. But really, he's … Continue reading The MCU’s Savior Arrives with a Resounding “Meh” – Captain Marvel
Directed and co-written by acclaimed filmmaker Neil Jordan, Greta treads some well-worn paths in the subgenre of stalker thrillers. However, thanks to some utterly committed performances from its leads, the Crying Game and Michael Collins director has created an intriguing character study and a downright giddy romp that registers to me as the first great film of 2019. … Continue reading Isabelle Huppert is One Bad Mother–SHUT YO MOUTH! – Greta
I meant to do this yesterday, but I just did a 16-day streak of blog posts, and in the end I decided that napping was more important. Plus, it never hurts to have a few more hours to process things. So now that the dust has settled, let's recap the proceedings. I'm not offended by Green … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Postmortem
I've been a fan of the How to Train Your Dragon series since the very first film. It's by far the best animated franchise from Dreamworks. Not only is the quality of the animation itself breathtaking, but the storylines are much more relatable than the Shrek series, which is fine, but largely a string of pop culture … Continue reading It’s Time to Let Go – How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2nd annual "I Actually Paid to See This" Oscar live blog! Over the course of the night, I'll be updating this post in real time (or as close as I can approximate) as awards are handed out, features are aired, and whatever other filler the Academy … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Live Diary
The second year of the Oscar Blitz on this blog has been a wild ride, and I thank each and every one of my readers for taking it with me. Tomorrow's the big night, and after five weeks of in-depth analysis and general shit-talk, it's time to put my non-existent money where my loud mouth … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Who Will Win?
We're less than 24 hours away from the Academy Awards, and before I make my official predictions later tonight, there are two more major awards ceremonies to catch up on, which may provide some insight into how I make my picks, because in several cases they will not match up with who I would actually … Continue reading Completing the Undercard – Writers Guild and Independent Spirit Awards Announced!
The Oscars are tomorrow night, and as promised, I'll get to my official predictions later this evening. But before I do, there are a few more undercard awards to hand out, which may or may not inform the results. But those are for another post coming later. Here we're only concerned about the worst of … Continue reading It Can Always Be Worse – 39th Razzie Awards Announced!
We've come to it at last, folks. The award to end all awards, the one win to rule them all. It's time to take all the laughs, tears, analysis, and petulant bitching and lump it all together to see which nominee should win Best Picture less than a mere 48 hours from now. And because … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Best Picture
I Actually Paid To See This 