Tomorrow is my birthday, so this weekend I decided I would celebrate a little bit by returning to the multiplex. Despite my financial woes, it is still my goal to stay as far ahead of the potential slate for next year's Animated Feature contest as possible. Also, in a bit of good news, I finally … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Wheel of Four Toons
You ever get that feeling that no matter how hard you try, everything not only turns out wrong, but seems designed to make life that much worse by its very existence? That's what the last several months have been for me. Between being unemployed for nearly a year, approaching a phase of literal worthlessness, insulting … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – July 2025
Movie trilogies are a common occurrence, now more than ever. As studios continue to rely on franchise IPs, sequels, prequels, and remakes to pad their coffers, every "popcorn" flick that comes out is designed to get at least three installments, if not more. What was once a rarity in the likes of Star Wars is … Continue reading Shadow of the Night – Sonic the Hedgehog 3
It's the most wonderful time of the year!With a ton of cel-shading,And deep color-grading,AND DISNEY'S NOT HERE!It's the most wonderful time of the year! It really is refreshing to see that the animation artform is expanding beyond the House of Mouse. It was shocking enough that there were no entries from either Pixar or Disney … Continue reading Oscar Blitz 2023 – Animated Short
It's official. As of this month, I will join the growing ranks of old men yelling at clouds, for later this August, I will turn 40. It is, if I'm being completely honest, a day I thought I'd never see, and to a small extent, I kind of wish that were the case. I don't … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2022
When the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie came out just over two years ago, a lot of flaws were forgiven because Paramount as a studio engendered a ton of goodwill by listening to fan reactions to the film's first teasers and delaying its release in order to fix Sonic's nightmare fuel design. The final product … Continue reading Power Bump – Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Over the last few years, the DC Extended Universe has seemingly - and finally - come into its own. With dud after dud from Batman v. Superman to Justice League, the ship really feels like its been righted, thanks to the overwhelming success of Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, and Shazam!. There's still a misstep … Continue reading This is What Happens When You Try – The Suicide Squad
Let me paint you a picture. It's New Year's Eve, literally the last day of 2019, and I've got nothing to do before my roommates host a party that night. Every movie I planned on seeing was in the books, so what was I going to do? There was only one new movie left, and … Continue reading Even My Allergies Said Stay Away – Cats
Hooray, this shitty year is almost in the books! We've endured four god awful Disney remakes plus a sequel to a previous one! We've survived Jennifer Lopez in her natural state as a stripper! Somehow we've even made it past Donald Trump's head photoshopped onto Rocky Balboa and HIS CAMPAIGN TRYING TO SAY IT'S A … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2019
Welcome once again to our monthly exercise in spewing bile on the absolute worst that movie studios have to offer. It is a noble task upon which we embark, as we declare in one unified voice (mine) that we will not flush our money down these proverbial toilets, and that we demand quality cinema as … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2019
I Actually Paid To See This 