It's official. As of this month, I will join the growing ranks of old men yelling at clouds, for later this August, I will turn 40. It is, if I'm being completely honest, a day I thought I'd never see, and to a small extent, I kind of wish that were the case. I don't … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2022
When the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie came out just over two years ago, a lot of flaws were forgiven because Paramount as a studio engendered a ton of goodwill by listening to fan reactions to the film's first teasers and delaying its release in order to fix Sonic's nightmare fuel design. The final product … Continue reading Power Bump – Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Over the last few years, the DC Extended Universe has seemingly - and finally - come into its own. With dud after dud from Batman v. Superman to Justice League, the ship really feels like its been righted, thanks to the overwhelming success of Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, and Shazam!. There's still a misstep … Continue reading This is What Happens When You Try – The Suicide Squad
Let me paint you a picture. It's New Year's Eve, literally the last day of 2019, and I've got nothing to do before my roommates host a party that night. Every movie I planned on seeing was in the books, so what was I going to do? There was only one new movie left, and … Continue reading Even My Allergies Said Stay Away – Cats
Hooray, this shitty year is almost in the books! We've endured four god awful Disney remakes plus a sequel to a previous one! We've survived Jennifer Lopez in her natural state as a stripper! Somehow we've even made it past Donald Trump's head photoshopped onto Rocky Balboa and HIS CAMPAIGN TRYING TO SAY IT'S A … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2019
Welcome once again to our monthly exercise in spewing bile on the absolute worst that movie studios have to offer. It is a noble task upon which we embark, as we declare in one unified voice (mine) that we will not flush our money down these proverbial toilets, and that we demand quality cinema as … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2019
First off, I must apologize for the lateness of this review. The whole point of this blog is to get reviews out as quickly as possible, so you the consumer can decide the best use of your movie-going dollars. That said, there are two major reasons for the delay, which I think excuse it. For … Continue reading We Finally Got to the Fireworks Factory! – Avengers: Infinity War
I Actually Paid To See This 