I'm not gonna lie, folks. I had almost no motivation to do the column this month. My mom's passing hit a lot harder than I thought it would, even though I knew the moment was coming for the last three years. I thought that extra time to prepare might dull the impact, but it didn't. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2023
The calendar has finally turned over, and of course, because we just can't have nice things, the universe decided to take Betty White out at the last fucking minute. But anyway, the official book has closed on 2021, a year where we almost, kinda, sort of got back to something resembling normal, only for the … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2021
The superhero parody is nothing new. Pretty much ever since comic books hit the mainstream there's been a subset of the genre that pokes fun at the concepts and tropes. For every Superman there's a Deadpool, for every Batman a Kick-Ass. Now, writer/director Ben Falcone, in his fifth collaboration with his wife Melissa McCarthy, brings … Continue reading This Movie Will Give You Crabs – Thunder Force
I meant to do this yesterday, but I just did a 16-day streak of blog posts, and in the end I decided that napping was more important. Plus, it never hurts to have a few more hours to process things. So now that the dust has settled, let's recap the proceedings. I'm not offended by Green … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Postmortem
The second year of the Oscar Blitz on this blog has been a wild ride, and I thank each and every one of my readers for taking it with me. Tomorrow's the big night, and after five weeks of in-depth analysis and general shit-talk, it's time to put my non-existent money where my loud mouth … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Who Will Win?
The Oscars are tomorrow night, and as promised, I'll get to my official predictions later this evening. But before I do, there are a few more undercard awards to hand out, which may or may not inform the results. But those are for another post coming later. Here we're only concerned about the worst of … Continue reading It Can Always Be Worse – 39th Razzie Awards Announced!
I'm always a bit conflicted on this category. Traditionally, this is the most glamorous award handed out on Oscar Night, as the anticipation is almost as high to see what the winner is wearing as it is to learn who the winner will actually be. It's kind of sexist in a way, because the dress … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Best Actress
It's time! It's finally time! Time to debate and debase the thinking of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, because the nominees for the 91st Oscars have arrived! Will I have to scramble to see multiple films I missed over the course of 2018? Will it just be a casual trip to the … Continue reading 3, 2, 1, BLITZ! – 91st Academy Award Nominees Announced!
It's the eve of the Oscar nominations, which can only mean one thing. The Oscars honor the best in cinema, but before that we have to recognize the worst Hollywood has to offer. Today sees the nominations for the 39th annual Razzie Awards! Now, for the last three years I've made it my personal mission … Continue reading It Certainly Does Suck! – 39th Razzie Nominees Announced!
Now that the Golden Globes are out of the way, and Awards Season is in full swing, it's time for the rest of the minor ceremonies to announce their nominees. We've already had the Independent Spirit and SAG nods for a while, but in the last few days we've also accumulated announcements from the Writers … Continue reading Let the Undercard Bouts Begin! – Guild and BAFTA Nominees Announced
I Actually Paid To See This 