I have to say, as we approach Thanksgiving, there are years where it gets really hard to find anything for which to be thankful, because what the sentiment actually means is an acknowledgement of the good things in your life. This has been an incredibly difficult year for my family and me. We've suffered a … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – November 2025
Tag: Nicolas Cage
This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – April 2025
The last few weeks have been really rough. I buried my brother-in-law, had a hell of a time helping my sister through her grief, struggled to connect with my nephew now that he's obsessed with Geometry Dash, Minecraft, and any other app that can keep his gaze glued to a phone, and I've been out … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – April 2025
Wake Up – Dream Scenario
While watching Kristoffer Borgli's new film, Dream Scenario, I spent a good amount of time thinking about a completely different movie, Disney's Cinderella (the original animated film, not blasphemous remake #410). Specifically my mind keyed in on one of the better songs from the flick, "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes." It kept … Continue reading Wake Up – Dream Scenario
This Film is Not Yet Watchable – October 2023
The beginning of October marks the official start of "Spooky Season," where we all celebrate the things that give us just the right kinds of scares. It's also the start of "Knockoff Month," where we all roll our eyes and laugh at the cheap imitations of things that are supposed to be worthwhile. Yes, whether … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – October 2023
This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2023
Normally I'd begin this column with a statement about how August is essentially the second month of the year unofficially designated as a studio dumping ground. We're at the end of Blockbuster Season, which means most of the tentpole movies have had their moment in the spotlight - for better or worse - and that … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2023
This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2023
We're halfway through the year, and as we go into July, I have to say, things don't look half bad. While the major tentpole movies of the 2023 Blockbuster Season have largely fallen flat, on the whole the general output for mainstream media hasn't been all that terrible. Yes, Indiana Jones disappointed to an extreme … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – July 2023
The Best (and Worst) of 2022
I like to think that, overall, 2022 was a better year than 2021. There were some down moments, to be sure - Billie Eilish won an Oscar before Lin-Manuel Miranda, I had to move my mother into hospice, Republicans retook the House, basically every celebrity we still cared about died, AMC charged us more money … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2022
Don’t Call it a Comeback! – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
There's a fine line to walk when doing meta commentary within a movie. Essentially, when you do something so self-reflexive and self-referential, you're catering mostly to an audience that knows the subject with more than just passing familiarity. As such, you open yourself up to more scrutiny whenever you flub something. This manifests a lot … Continue reading Don’t Call it a Comeback! – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
Just One More Thing… – 42nd Annual Razzies!
The Oscars are done. The Blitz is over. All the films that I'm going to see for any of these purposes I've seen. There's just one last thing to do to officially wrap up 2021 in cinema, and that's to acknowledge the absolute bottom of the barrel. Please welcome, Billie Eilish! Just kidding. I'd never … Continue reading Just One More Thing… – 42nd Annual Razzies!
The Best (and Worst) of 2021
The calendar has finally turned over, and of course, because we just can't have nice things, the universe decided to take Betty White out at the last fucking minute. But anyway, the official book has closed on 2021, a year where we almost, kinda, sort of got back to something resembling normal, only for the … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2021










