I like to think that, overall, 2022 was a better year than 2021. There were some down moments, to be sure - Billie Eilish won an Oscar before Lin-Manuel Miranda, I had to move my mother into hospice, Republicans retook the House, basically every celebrity we still cared about died, AMC charged us more money … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2022
There's a fine line to walk when doing meta commentary within a movie. Essentially, when you do something so self-reflexive and self-referential, you're catering mostly to an audience that knows the subject with more than just passing familiarity. As such, you open yourself up to more scrutiny whenever you flub something. This manifests a lot … Continue reading Don’t Call it a Comeback! – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
The Oscars are done. The Blitz is over. All the films that I'm going to see for any of these purposes I've seen. There's just one last thing to do to officially wrap up 2021 in cinema, and that's to acknowledge the absolute bottom of the barrel. Please welcome, Billie Eilish! Just kidding. I'd never … Continue reading Just One More Thing… – 42nd Annual Razzies!
The calendar has finally turned over, and of course, because we just can't have nice things, the universe decided to take Betty White out at the last fucking minute. But anyway, the official book has closed on 2021, a year where we almost, kinda, sort of got back to something resembling normal, only for the … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2021
If you had told me that there would be a movie where Nicolas Cage plays a loner who goes on an obsessive mission to retrieve a stolen pig, I would 100% have believed you. If you told me it would be one of his finest performances ever in a thoughtful character study, and that it … Continue reading That’ll Do, Nic, That’ll Do – Pig
When I first heard there was going to be a sequel to The Croods coming out in 2020, I admit I was a bit surprised. I remember liking the original well enough, but I figured that the fact there wasn't an instant follow-up, like so many animation studios do, meant that the property didn't get … Continue reading Unevolved, But Inoffensive – The Croods: A New Age
The beginning of September signals a major turning point in the movie calendar. While it's technically not fall until the equinox late in the month, September means the end of summer blockbuster season and the beginning of awards season. Over the course of the month, studios will shift away from the major popcorn fare meant … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – September 2019
Welcome once again to our monthly exercise in spewing bile on the absolute worst that movie studios have to offer. It is a noble task upon which we embark, as we declare in one unified voice (mine) that we will not flush our money down these proverbial toilets, and that we demand quality cinema as … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – August 2019
Sony has owned the cinematic rights to Spider-Man since the turn of the century, and through its usage, we've gotten some pretty decent movies. I still love the Tobey Maguire trilogy and am more forgiving than most when it comes to Spider-Man 3 (it sucked, but it still had heart). But over the last decade, they've … Continue reading Trippy, Hilarious, and Surprisingly Heartfelt – Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
I Actually Paid To See This 