In the midst of all the rigmarole surrounding COVID-19 (I feel like I should be pronouncing it "co-VIDE" since it's short for "COrona VIrus Disease, but that would open up a whole other can of "gif/jif" worms), there's still one piece of cinematic business to deal with for 2019, even though it's literally the first … Continue reading The Cat-aclysm – 40th Razzie Awards Announced!
Hey, you know what you've never seen before? An unqualified guy opining about the coronavirus! Totally original! I've tried to just take the whole thing in stride, but as the entire goddamn universe collapses around us, I feel compelled to at least say something, especially in regards to how it affects this blog and my coverage … Continue reading Back Row Thoughts – Going Viral
Since the premiere of Toy Story some 25 years ago, Pixar films have fallen into three distinct groups. At the top are the movies that simply blow us away, introducing wondrous new ideas and themes to complement the ever-evolving animation technology. These are the all-time greats like WALL-E, Up, The Incredibles, and Inside Out. On the opposite end of the … Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother – Onward
Jane Austen's novel, "Emma," has been adapted four times for the big screen. In 1996, a straight-up version gave Gwyneth Paltrow one of her first leading roles, and won the Oscar for Original Score. In 2010, India gave us Aisha, which was a modest success overseas. Of course, the first, and most famous version of the … Continue reading Newness Beats Clueless – Emma.
Top o'the mornin' ta ye! It's yer friendly neighborhood Irish back row film fanatic idiot. And yes, I'm totally actually Irish, and I have the tattoos to prove it. No, I don't have the DNA tests to prove it, because I absolutely dread the idea of potentially having to alter/remove my tattoos if I'm wrong. … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – March 2020
It is a rare thing for Hollywood to take audience criticism to heart. Sure, just about every major motion picture is focus grouped to death, with test screenings to beat the band, but those typically take place as the film is wrapping up production, with the reactions more used for the studio to calculate how … Continue reading Not Quite in the (Green Hill) Zone – Sonic the Hedgehog
On the whole I have not been a fan of the DC Extended Universe, mostly because Zack Snyder is a hack. Over the last year, however, things have noticeably improved, thanks to lighthearted affairs like Shazam, which - like the Marvel Cinematic Universe - leans more into the comedic and human aspects of its characters rather … Continue reading A Raptor-ous Good Time – Birds of Prey
Okay, I've had a well-earned nap, and 24 hours to process everything I saw last night. The 92nd Academy Awards were beyond anything I could have expected, and now that it's all over, I have a few final thoughts. Apart from the Razzie Awards (which you can help determine, because I bought a vote!), this … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2020 – Postmortem
We come to the moment at last! After weeks of scrambling, search, reviewing, analyzing, and occasionally shitting on a slew of potential winners and nominees, it's finally time for the Academy Awards! And right here is where you can join me for live commentary and reactions. I'll be updating this blog in real time, basically … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2020 – Live Diary
Tonight's the big night. The Academy Awards are mere hours away! But before we walk down our proverbial red carpet, there's one more set of hardware to hand out. Last night, the indies took center stage, with the 35th Annual Film Independent Spirit Awards. Full results plus a video of Aubrey Plaza's opening monologue are … Continue reading One More to Go – Independent Spirit Awards Results!
I Actually Paid To See This 