There's a saying that's been kicked around a lot over the last 60 years or so, that traces back to Ian Fleming's novel, "Goldfinger." It's a basic Rule-of-Threes that states, "Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is an an enemy action." The more modern paraphrasing is to say, "Once is chance, … Continue reading Lupita Nyong’o is Her Own Worst Enemy – Us
One of the favorites to come out of this year's Sundance Film Festival is The Mustang, a joint production of the US, France, and Belgium, which won the NHK Award in Park City. It's co-written by Brock Norman Brock (Bronson), Mona Fastvold (Vox Lux), and Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre (Diane from The Diving Bell and the Butterfly), who … Continue reading Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away – The Mustang
If nothing else, the new Nickelodeon animated film Wonder Park will have a bit of noteworthiness in the annals of 2019 cinema, but for all the wrong reasons. While the film was officially directed by former Pixar animator Dylan Brown, he is not credited in the final cut of the movie, because Paramount fired him for … Continue reading At Least I Didn’t Have to Pay $8 For a Churro – Wonder Park
If you'll recall, during the Oscar Blitz, I registered my deep disdain for the Documentary Short, A Night at the Garden, because it was nothing more than a highlight reel of archival footage about a Nazi rally in New York, without any commentary, interviews, or narrative of any kind. I found it lazy and tossed off, … Continue reading Fly Me to the Moon – Apollo 11
"Am I the only one who's confused here?" asks the offscreen voice of an alien probing the thoughts and memories of Carol Danvers, aka Vers, aka the eventual titular Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), trying to find crucial information in the pausing, jumping, reversing, and replaying of a few scenes of her past. But really, he's … Continue reading The MCU’s Savior Arrives with a Resounding “Meh” – Captain Marvel
Directed and co-written by acclaimed filmmaker Neil Jordan, Greta treads some well-worn paths in the subgenre of stalker thrillers. However, thanks to some utterly committed performances from its leads, the Crying Game and Michael Collins director has created an intriguing character study and a downright giddy romp that registers to me as the first great film of 2019. … Continue reading Isabelle Huppert is One Bad Mother–SHUT YO MOUTH! – Greta
I meant to do this yesterday, but I just did a 16-day streak of blog posts, and in the end I decided that napping was more important. Plus, it never hurts to have a few more hours to process things. So now that the dust has settled, let's recap the proceedings. I'm not offended by Green … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Postmortem
I've been a fan of the How to Train Your Dragon series since the very first film. It's by far the best animated franchise from Dreamworks. Not only is the quality of the animation itself breathtaking, but the storylines are much more relatable than the Shrek series, which is fine, but largely a string of pop culture … Continue reading It’s Time to Let Go – How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2nd annual "I Actually Paid to See This" Oscar live blog! Over the course of the night, I'll be updating this post in real time (or as close as I can approximate) as awards are handed out, features are aired, and whatever other filler the Academy … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Live Diary
The second year of the Oscar Blitz on this blog has been a wild ride, and I thank each and every one of my readers for taking it with me. Tomorrow's the big night, and after five weeks of in-depth analysis and general shit-talk, it's time to put my non-existent money where my loud mouth … Continue reading Oscar Gold 2019 – Who Will Win?
I Actually Paid To See This 