There's a habit in the movie industry to release religious films around the Easter holiday, because, you know, Jesus truly cares about your entertainment habits in a medium he couldn't possibly have conceived of 2,000 years ago. Most of the time this manifests itself in the form of either evangelical treacle films that posit any … Continue reading How Sweet the Sound, and Scene – Amazing Grace
Welcome to the newest feature of "I Actually Paid to See This," which I call, "DownStream!" I've been thinking about doing this for a while. From about the midway point of last year, the majority of my "Back Row Thoughts" columns ended up being devoted to miniature reviews of documentaries and streaming films, which was … Continue reading DownStream: Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll
A quick note before I dive into this review. I just wanted to apologize for the lateness of this particular post, as well as the relative radio silence over the past few weeks. There are some changes coming to the site, one of which will be rolled out in my next post, and I've been … Continue reading Call Me By Your Name – Shazam!
It is no secret that I am not a fan of the recent slew of Disney live-action remakes that no one asked for. It's also very true that I'm not a fan of remakes in general. So I fully admit that I had some inherent bias going in to see the new version of Dumbo, a … Continue reading Honestly, I Think I’d Rather Have the Racist Crows – Dumbo
There's a saying that's been kicked around a lot over the last 60 years or so, that traces back to Ian Fleming's novel, "Goldfinger." It's a basic Rule-of-Threes that states, "Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is an an enemy action." The more modern paraphrasing is to say, "Once is chance, … Continue reading Lupita Nyong’o is Her Own Worst Enemy – Us
One of the favorites to come out of this year's Sundance Film Festival is The Mustang, a joint production of the US, France, and Belgium, which won the NHK Award in Park City. It's co-written by Brock Norman Brock (Bronson), Mona Fastvold (Vox Lux), and Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre (Diane from The Diving Bell and the Butterfly), who … Continue reading Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away – The Mustang
If nothing else, the new Nickelodeon animated film Wonder Park will have a bit of noteworthiness in the annals of 2019 cinema, but for all the wrong reasons. While the film was officially directed by former Pixar animator Dylan Brown, he is not credited in the final cut of the movie, because Paramount fired him for … Continue reading At Least I Didn’t Have to Pay $8 For a Churro – Wonder Park
If you'll recall, during the Oscar Blitz, I registered my deep disdain for the Documentary Short, A Night at the Garden, because it was nothing more than a highlight reel of archival footage about a Nazi rally in New York, without any commentary, interviews, or narrative of any kind. I found it lazy and tossed off, … Continue reading Fly Me to the Moon – Apollo 11
"Am I the only one who's confused here?" asks the offscreen voice of an alien probing the thoughts and memories of Carol Danvers, aka Vers, aka the eventual titular Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), trying to find crucial information in the pausing, jumping, reversing, and replaying of a few scenes of her past. But really, he's … Continue reading The MCU’s Savior Arrives with a Resounding “Meh” – Captain Marvel
Directed and co-written by acclaimed filmmaker Neil Jordan, Greta treads some well-worn paths in the subgenre of stalker thrillers. However, thanks to some utterly committed performances from its leads, the Crying Game and Michael Collins director has created an intriguing character study and a downright giddy romp that registers to me as the first great film of 2019. … Continue reading Isabelle Huppert is One Bad Mother–SHUT YO MOUTH! – Greta
