As I've said a few times over the course of this Blitz, the men's side of the acting field is decidedly slight compared to the women. We still have a legitimate contest, as this is still a two-horse race, possibly even three. But the fact that it's not five consistently, year in and year out, … Continue reading Oscar Blitz 2023 – Best Actor (VIDEO)
Today's the big day, folks! It seems like only yesterday Will Smith was committing assault and battery on live television because of a G.I. Jane joke, but it's already time to begin the 2023 Oscar Blitz! In a ceremony hosted by Riz Ahmed and Allison Williams, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced … Continue reading A Surprise Blitz – 95th Academy Awards Nominees
I like to think that, overall, 2022 was a better year than 2021. There were some down moments, to be sure - Billie Eilish won an Oscar before Lin-Manuel Miranda, I had to move my mother into hospice, Republicans retook the House, basically every celebrity we still cared about died, AMC charged us more money … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2022
As a preface for this review of Martin McDonagh's fourth feature, The Banshees of Inisherin, I'd like to share a brief anecdote from my teenage years. The summer after eighth grade, my family moved from suburban Delaware to rural upstate New York, the starting and ending points being two towns with the same name - … Continue reading Fingering Your Friends – The Banshees of Inisherin
If you were to tell me in a vacuum that Robert Pattinson, Colin Farrell, Jeffrey Wright, and Paul Dano would be starring in a new movie directed by Matt Reeves, I would imagine that you'd be describing a cerebral, artsy exploration of the human condition through a distinctly animalistic lens. After all, ever since he … Continue reading The Knight is Still Young – The Batman
Let me tell you about a fun little aspect of my existence. As a lifelong Trekkie/Trekker, part of my fandom includes belonging to a Facebook group called "Star Trek Shitposting." It is exactly what it sounds like. We (there's about 95,000 of us currently) fuck about, posting memes and jokes related to Star Trek and … Continue reading Bonk! Go to Horny Brig! – Voyagers
A couple years ago, I worked on a game show called Mental Samurai. The basic premise of the show was to challenge the mental acuity of our contestants by asking them to solve 12 puzzles or trivia questions in the span of five minutes to win a decent chunk of money. The crux of the … Continue reading A Deadly Formula – Ava
If you're actually reading this right now, there's at least a calculable chance that your first reaction was, "Why even bother?" For one, we're still in the throes of lockdown, with basically no functioning movie theatres to go to. For another, it's June 11 that I'm posting this. We're more than a third of the … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2020
What? You didn't think I'd stop going to new movies just because we're in the middle of the Oscar Blitz, did you? While January is unquestionably a wasteland for the worst new movies to quickly premiere and die, I'm still going to take my opportunities to see new stuff as often as I can. The … Continue reading There’s Fuckery Afoot – The Gentlemen
It is no secret that I am not a fan of the recent slew of Disney live-action remakes that no one asked for. It's also very true that I'm not a fan of remakes in general. So I fully admit that I had some inherent bias going in to see the new version of Dumbo, a … Continue reading Honestly, I Think I’d Rather Have the Racist Crows – Dumbo
I Actually Paid To See This 