If you were to tell me in a vacuum that Robert Pattinson, Colin Farrell, Jeffrey Wright, and Paul Dano would be starring in a new movie directed by Matt Reeves, I would imagine that you'd be describing a cerebral, artsy exploration of the human condition through a distinctly animalistic lens. After all, ever since he … Continue reading The Knight is Still Young – The Batman
Let me tell you about a fun little aspect of my existence. As a lifelong Trekkie/Trekker, part of my fandom includes belonging to a Facebook group called "Star Trek Shitposting." It is exactly what it sounds like. We (there's about 95,000 of us currently) fuck about, posting memes and jokes related to Star Trek and … Continue reading Bonk! Go to Horny Brig! – Voyagers
A couple years ago, I worked on a game show called Mental Samurai. The basic premise of the show was to challenge the mental acuity of our contestants by asking them to solve 12 puzzles or trivia questions in the span of five minutes to win a decent chunk of money. The crux of the … Continue reading A Deadly Formula – Ava
If you're actually reading this right now, there's at least a calculable chance that your first reaction was, "Why even bother?" For one, we're still in the throes of lockdown, with basically no functioning movie theatres to go to. For another, it's June 11 that I'm posting this. We're more than a third of the … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – June 2020
What? You didn't think I'd stop going to new movies just because we're in the middle of the Oscar Blitz, did you? While January is unquestionably a wasteland for the worst new movies to quickly premiere and die, I'm still going to take my opportunities to see new stuff as often as I can. The … Continue reading There’s Fuckery Afoot – The Gentlemen
It is no secret that I am not a fan of the recent slew of Disney live-action remakes that no one asked for. It's also very true that I'm not a fan of remakes in general. So I fully admit that I had some inherent bias going in to see the new version of Dumbo, a … Continue reading Honestly, I Think I’d Rather Have the Racist Crows – Dumbo
I saw 111 new films in 2018 between the theatre and streaming services. Eleventy-one movies, eleventy-one reviews, either stand-alone or in groups. Eleventy-one chances to thrill, to laugh, to cry, and to outright despise. It's been a hell of a run this first year, and we're still not done. There are still plenty of movies … Continue reading The Best (and Worst) of 2018
I caught a little bit of flack earlier this year (and not just the playful kind from my girlfriend) over my insistence to NOT see Ocean's 8. I stand by my decision, and I still allow for the possibility of seeing it if I am given a compelling reason. Basically, my choice boiled down to three … Continue reading A Women’s Heist Film That Actually Deserves to Exist – Widows
I Actually Paid To See This 