First things first, my apologies for not getting this column out sooner, as we're already into Labor Day Weekend, and some of the "films" (air quotes) mentioned here have already been released. The last few weeks have been insanely busy with my 9-to-5, leaving very little time to take care of business here. I still … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – September 2021
For the purposes of legal protection, I will say upfront that I can't prove that the 90+ members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are bribed for their votes at the Golden Globes. It is merely an opinion, mostly presented tongue-in-cheek, based on the history of truly baffling nominations and awards that repeatedly smack of … Continue reading Here’s Some Money, Please Validate Me! – 78th Golden Globe Nominees Announced
In the midst of all the rigmarole surrounding COVID-19 (I feel like I should be pronouncing it "co-VIDE" since it's short for "COrona VIrus Disease, but that would open up a whole other can of "gif/jif" worms), there's still one piece of cinematic business to deal with for 2019, even though it's literally the first … Continue reading The Cat-aclysm – 40th Razzie Awards Announced!
Normally, the Razzie nominations come out the day before the Oscars do, and are awarded the night before the Academy hands out their hardware. However, because of the accelerated AMPAS schedule, the Razzies, which are more of a fun gag than anything else, decided not to go along with the crowd, instead holding off the … Continue reading It’s a Cat-Tastrophe – 40th Annual Golden Raspberry Nominees Announced!
Let me paint you a picture. It's New Year's Eve, literally the last day of 2019, and I've got nothing to do before my roommates host a party that night. Every movie I planned on seeing was in the books, so what was I going to do? There was only one new movie left, and … Continue reading Even My Allergies Said Stay Away – Cats
Hooray, this shitty year is almost in the books! We've endured four god awful Disney remakes plus a sequel to a previous one! We've survived Jennifer Lopez in her natural state as a stripper! Somehow we've even made it past Donald Trump's head photoshopped onto Rocky Balboa and HIS CAMPAIGN TRYING TO SAY IT'S A … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – December 2019
A little over a decade ago, director Danny Boyle struck Oscar gold with Slumdog Millionaire, winning Best Picture and Best Director among its eight victories. The film also made Dev Patel into a star, turning him into arguably the most famous actor of Indian descent on the planet. Can lightning strike twice? Can Boyle turn another … Continue reading All You Need is Love… And for Some Reason Ed Sheeran – Yesterday
Released by Warner Animation Group and voiced by a cast of A-listers, the new cartoon, Smallfoot begins with an interesting concept - Yetis encountering humans as the stuff of legend, not the other way around - throws in a moral thread about questioning authority and encouraging self-discovery, and teaches lessons about acceptance and abandoning old prejudices. … Continue reading Don’t Get Stoned, Stay Woke – Smallfoot