Summertime, and the living's easy! Well, unless you're perpetually unemployed and financially hanging by a thread, of course. In that scenario the living's excruciatingly stressful and what little sleep you get is filled with existential nightmares. Thank God we still have movies, though. Seriously, the tiny specks of sanity I have left would be completely … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – June 2025
We're a third of the way through 2025, and I can safely say that we're on track to have a much better year than the last two as far as cinematic quality is concerned. There are still myriad problems like the continued push for AI-generated content despite two labor strikes that halted the entire industry, … Continue reading This Film Is Not Yet Watchable – May 2025
Yeah yeah, you know I was going to use this meme as a cover pic eventually. You can stop rolling your eyes. But there is a point to why I decided on such a tired joke to preface this particular edition of the column. And that's the fact that this month is almost entirely about … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2022
In the midst of all the rigmarole surrounding COVID-19 (I feel like I should be pronouncing it "co-VIDE" since it's short for "COrona VIrus Disease, but that would open up a whole other can of "gif/jif" worms), there's still one piece of cinematic business to deal with for 2019, even though it's literally the first … Continue reading The Cat-aclysm – 40th Razzie Awards Announced!
Normally, the Razzie nominations come out the day before the Oscars do, and are awarded the night before the Academy hands out their hardware. However, because of the accelerated AMPAS schedule, the Razzies, which are more of a fun gag than anything else, decided not to go along with the crowd, instead holding off the … Continue reading It’s a Cat-Tastrophe – 40th Annual Golden Raspberry Nominees Announced!
Let me paint you a picture. It's New Year's Eve, literally the last day of 2019, and I've got nothing to do before my roommates host a party that night. Every movie I planned on seeing was in the books, so what was I going to do? There was only one new movie left, and … Continue reading Even My Allergies Said Stay Away – Cats
One of the old jokes about the entertainment industry is how a TV show like Hogan's Heroes got green lit. The telling varies, but it basically boils down to imagining a pitch meeting where someone goes, "It's set in a Nazi POW camp... AND IT'S A COMEDY!" I was thinking about that gag a lot as … Continue reading The Reich Stuff – Jojo Rabbit
Welcome to the newest feature here on the blog! I've been tooling this one around in my head for a while now, more than a year actually. The initial seed of the idea was to do a "Back Row Thoughts" column about movie marketing methods that just need to die (and boy are there a … Continue reading This Film is Not Yet Watchable – May 2019
For those who don't get the headline reference, a bit of film trivia. In 1948, a movie musical was released called Isn't it Romantic? It's fairly unremarkable, but it has one major bit of notoriety. In the 1980s, renowned film critic Leonard Maltin gave the film what is considered by the Guinness Book of World Records … Continue reading Still No, But That’s the Point – Isn’t it Romantic
I Actually Paid To See This 